It's Not Easy Being Me
by Finding-Emo
Summary: AU Godverse. Something is killing gods, but what? Keira wants to stay out of the investigation, but it's not easy when your mum is the god of war.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, y'all! This is mah newest fic, and also fairly serious (by my standards, at any rate). WARNING: This fic contains Jak/Seem, gods and god-killers, a freaky cross between KG Robots and Metalheads, and heaps o' Keira-ness in later chappehs. If you don't like this then for Gad's sake DON'T READ IT!

PROLOGUE

Snarling, the metal beast lunged at its chosen prey. Symon, god of night, swore and blasted it into oblivion. The beast's packmates, however, were still to be dealt to. Loosing off shot after shot of darkness, Symon became painfully aware of the fact that the metal creatures were slowly overwhelming him.

_This should not be happening!_

_This cannot be happening!_

_Mere _beasts _should not be able to defeat me!_

Slowly, the beasts got closer to Symon. Tiny beads of sweat formed, rolled down his face and dripped off his chin. He had never fought such things before, nor had he met things so resistant to his powers. Despite this, Symon still believed he would not lose out. There was simply no such thing as a god-killer.

_Or is there?_

_Is it possible that I might die here?_

After some time, the beasts began to attack first two, then three, then four a time. A creature slammed into his back at high speed, forcing him onto the ground. It and its packmates began to rip the flesh off Symon

Aaargh- 

Symon died.

With Symon's death, blasts of energy travelled along the ties that bound him to his brother-gods and sister-gods. Thus, every god and demi-god quite literally felt his death. According to what they were doing at the time, they all reacted in different ways.

Eryna, god of machines, was so shocked that she accidentally blew up all the computers in the Haven City University, which she happened to be visiting at the time.

Gylda, god of wood, spontaneously combusted.

Kymry, god of war, leapt off the drill platform shouting a cry of vengeance against Symon's killers

And Keira, daughter of a mortal and a god, dropped her wrench and said to nobody in particular, "What the hell was _that_?"

**Fo Yo Information, Gylda, Eryna and Kymry are female, you pronounce their names like GIL-da, E-RI-na and Kim-REE, and in this 'verse, Kymry is Keira's mommy**

**Love? Hate? I wanna know.**

**Review**

**Review**

**Review.**


	2. A

OMFG! I'm writing a Serious!Fic! Hey, this must mean pigs can fly now! (Looks out window) Darn! Hmm ... perhaps if I actually manage to finish this rare beastie, they will! (Scurries off to write more Serious!Fic)

**Thankies to you, my lovely reviewers. ******

**The prologue is currently undergoing a bit of a rewrite. Also, I'm very busy with other projects, like my LOVE EPIC and Jerk and Dorkster, so don't be expecting regular updates, yo.**

**If you spot anything that doesn't really make sense in this fic, please tell me, coz I don't like looking stupid. Also, if you want to see me write a character into this fic, let me know. There may be a bit of OOC in this chappeh; if there is, tell me so's I can fix it**

**If I owned Jak and Daxter, the games would have been the height of stupidity. They aren't. **

Keira strode through the hallways of the Iron Palace, searching for her mother. She wasn't on the archery range, nor was she in the gun course. After three hours of looking, Keira concluded that Kymry was probably overseeing some war and that she was probably better off asking some other god. She decided to do some archery practice to vent her frustrations. On the range, she saw a familiar face: the demi-god Daxter. Unfortunately for him, he still had yet to hit the target. "Any luck there, Daxter?" she asked. "Naw, this bow's just- too- heavy!" grunted Daxter, throwing the bow to the ground in frustration. Innocently, Keira asked if she could have a go with said bow. "Yeah, whatever. By the way, d'you know what the hell that thing last night was?"

"No, I was looking for my mother so I could ask her."

"Hmph. Didja find her?"

"Aah-no." _Twang!_ Keira loosed off a bolt from the bow, and it _thunk-_ed into the target. She turned to Daxter, smirking. He stuck his tongue out at her.

"You ain't any better just coz you can hit the target, ya know."

"Crying on the inside, Daxter. Crying on the inside."

"Yeah, whatever." At this, he looked at his watch and gave a cry of panic.

"AAAGH! I'm late for my date with Tess!"

Daxter picked his jacket up off the ground, shouted, "See ya!" over his shoulder and ran off.

Tess and Daxter sat at the table, making small talk. Currently, Daxter was reaching the end of one of his tall tales.

"­—And that's why they call me Orange Lightning!" he finished triumphantly.

"Wow, Daxter! That's amazing!" she breathed. He shrugged modestly. "It's all part of the package, baby."

"But Daxter, _how_ can you do all this? I've met a lot of people, but I don't know anybody who can do those things."

Daxter grinned and leaned over the table. "Ya wanna know a secret, baby?"

"Okay."

"Well-" here he leaned a bit closer, getting mayonnaise on his shirt as he did so "- it's coz I'm the son of a god!"

Tess giggled. "Daxter, I know you've said some silly things before, but this one takes the cake! You don't honestly expect me to believe that, do you?"

"No, seriously! Look, if you don't believe me, I'll prove it to you."

"How?"

Daxter reached out, took hold of her sleeve and teleported them to the Steel Palace.

**12345678900987654321**

Kymry stalked through Haven Forest, refusing to admit that she was wrong and the god-killers weren't really there.

_How?_

_How is it possible that they can not only murder one god, but also outwit another?_

She sat down on a handy rock, silently fuming. Unacceptable! She needed to catch Symon's killers, but how? Kymry hated to admit it, but planning was not exactly her strong point. After some thought, she decided to ask one of the smarter gods.

_Perhaps Mahyra could find them._

Without further ado, Kymry stood up and teleported herself to the Bronze Palace.

The god Mahyra was doing a systems check. However, this was a little different to most systems checks, as the system in question was Mahyra herself. To prevent any interruptions, she had locked herself in a room, and placed a notice that read _Do Not Disturb: Systems check in progress. All interruptions will definitely be fatal_ upon the door.

Since Mahyra had neglected to specify who the interruption would be fatal to, her or the interrupter, nobody was brave enough to open the door. So now, Kymry was standing at the door, mentally debating whether or not she should interrupt this systems check. Thankfully, she didn't have to decide, because her younger sister opened the door first. Mahyra blinked owlishly from behind her glasses. "Oh- hello, Kym. Why are you here? I thought you didn't like being among nerds?"

"I don't. I'm only here to find out where Symon's killers are."

"Gee, I'm so glad you care about me that much, dear sister."

Kymry sighed. "Look, Mahyra, I do care about you, but please can you just tell me where they are?"

"All right, but I won't be able to right now, okay?"

Kymry grinned. "Knew I could count on you. Gotta go now! I've got a really big war that needs me to keep an eye on it. Bye!" She teleported away. Mahyra rolled her eyes and murmured, "You're welcome."

**12345678900987654321**

Coming through her kitchen door, Keira spotted a note stuck to the fridge door with a magnet. It said:

Dearest Keyra, Y hope you are feelyng all ryght. You may be wonderyng what that thyng last nyght was. Well, Y shall tell you. What you felt was Symon's death. Yes, that's ryght. There are god-kyllers around now. As you have probably guessed, Y have decyded to fynd and destroy these god-kyllers, so Y wyll not be around for some tyme. Unfortunately, even after Y have taken care of whatever kylled Symon, there are some fayrly large wars yn the Ycelands, so Y may not be able to see you for a few months. 

_Much love,_

_Mother._

Muttering nasty things under her breath, Keira picked up pen and paper and began to write.

_Dear Mother, maybe you wouldn't have to hope if you were AROUND more? Ever thought of that? Also, there is a small thing you may have heard of. It's called the letter "I". Use it._

_Oh, and- I thought you said there was no such thing as a god-killer?_

_Keira (Spelled with an I, thanks very much)._

She sealed the letter into an envelope, threw it onto the desk and got into bed.

**12345678900987654321**

Sitting at her desk in the Precursor Monk Temple, Head Priestess Seem slumped forward from boredom. Several reports lay on her desk, all citing sightings of bright red metal beasts with surprising resistance to Dark Eco and the ability to shoot Red Eco from their first pair of paws. Seem had checked most of the scrolls in the library, but there were no preceding observations of such things. Just for something to do, she stood up and crossed to the window.

Another monk crossed over to her.

"Good afternoon, your eminence." Said by anyone else, those words sounded respectful. However, in the mouth of Jak…

Seem sighed. "Stop flirting with me, Jak. What's going on now?"

**12345678900987654321**

_Somewhere in the Icelands..._

"...That's not important, Probie! What we _really_ want to know is, have we actually got a chance of winning this war or are we as dead as your sex life?"

Torn swallowed his pride and responded. "Well, Commandant Erol, at the moment we have equal chances of failure and victory, but if we can hold off the Marauders for a while longer, we may defeat them, sir."

"That's not good enough! How much longer do we need to keep them away? What's the likelihood of victory provided we do manage to prevent their assaults?"

"We need to hold 'em off for at least two weeks before the odds start to turn, sir."

"Good. We can definitely do that, unless everybody is as incompetent as you, in which case, we're screwed. Dismissed!"

"Yes, sir."

Silently seething, Torn walked out of the tent.

You stupid man! Who do you think you are? 

_And for your information, my sex life is alive, well and living, thanks very much._

Fuming as he was, he didn't see Vin until he'd walked into him.

Vin yelped.

Actually, it was a lot closer to a girly scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!"

Torn grumbled an apology and stormed back to his shelter.

**Hmm, it's a bit shorter than I'd like it to be. I'm really finding it hard to get the hang of Serious!Fic, so any tips would be much appreciated C:**

**Heehee, demi-god Keira, demi-god Dax, sergeant Erol, probie Torn, monk Jak … the crack list grows longer and longer. Godverse crack!**

**Fo Yo Information, a Probie is the Godverse equivalent of a tactician. I made Torn a Probie because he does seem to have a sort of tactician role in canon, y'know?**

**One word: ThunderCougarFalconBird**


End file.
